Poem #1: Phenomenal Woman

I am woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman

That's me.

~Maya Angelou

This seemed to be an appropriate start to my poem-memorization since it is about being a phenomenal woman, exactly the way we are.

I haven't memorized anything in...well, let's see...I don't remember when! Unless you count my new address & phone number here in NC. It is surprisingly easy...although the passing drivers on my street might wonder at my acting out the lines on my way to get the mail ("the reach of my arms, the span of my hips").

Two stanzas down, two to go before the 31st. I feel more phenomenal already! And I think I have my first woman to investigate for my Heroes list.

Weighing in...

Week 1: 3 pounds lost (YAY!)

Week 2: 1.8 pounds lost (More YAY!)

Week 3: 1.4 pounds lost (Hip~Hip~Hurray!!!)

Now off to spend the weekend with my girlfriends in sunny Florida...(gulp!)

The Master Cupcake Plan: Year 2

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." ~Aristotle

Well, since the last year sped by, practically without my noticing it was going, I decided that if there was ANY hope of my completing this list I had better create a timeline for the items that need to get done. Exhibit "A": see left.

I determined how many cranes I needed to make per week to complete #33. Make 1000 origami cranes (that would be 20); how many movies I needed to watch per month to get in #4 (Audrey), #16 (GWTW) and #23 (Al Gore). I calculated how often I needed to write a letter of gratitude (#20), how often I needed to have a poem memorized (#39), as well as how frequently I should work on #37. Practice stopping to smell the roses. I also decided, since I am motivated by such minor things as checklists, that in order to floss, stretch and get my reading in (remember those 54 books?), I better create a system to reward myself with a big pink "X" for getting those things done on a daily basis.

In order to become proficient at gun-slinging (#10) and pie-making (#13), I decided I needed to add those tasks in monthly, as well as #26. Perform 24 breast self-exams. And in order to work on some of the more miscellaneous items, I am adding one in per month to accomplish.

All sounds good, right? (A little OCD, perhaps, but good?) Ironically, I am already falling behind! It is harder than it looks to get these little things done daily and schedule in the more time-consuming ones...in order to check off those boxes, but I think I'm on to something with my plan (as much as it pains me to give Jerry Seinfeld credit for this variation of a theme). I want to get to the end of THIS year and be planning the best 40th birthday celebration ever...in honor of all my accomplishments.

Now let me go get out my pink Sharpie....

The Cupcake Yogini

"A finished person is a boring person." ~Anna Quindlen

The Major asked me last night what I was planning on 'doing' with my yoga teacher certificate (#32) (or more specifically, a reflexology certification that I'm lobbying to attend this fall). He really is a wonderful husband, because even when my answer is "I'm not sure, exactly...how about knowledge for knowledge's sake", he just nods and laughs. I know that he is an extremely rational and logical man (and these are a few of the reasons I love him, since we all can't be quirky like myself) and he has a need to see the USE of such adventures (especially when they have to come out of the budget..ha!) But I'm not making any promises.

I simply enjoy the learning process. And since I am very easily entertained, luckily most of what I am curious to learn about does not hurt the pocketbook as much as yoga teacher training will. For example, I am currently watching a borrowed series of lectures on the Classics of British Literature...48 lectures in all. They are really interesting, beginning with the origins of the English language, and frankly, they make my brain pedal in a way it has not been forced to do in a while! (This company has lecture series on practically anything that could strike your fancy, from wine to physics~check it out!)

Ironically, this curious desire to continually explore stuff means I'm already creating my NEXT Cupcake List! Even after the forty items on this list are complete, there are loads of ideas tumbling around in my head for the following years to come.

Anyway, back to the Major and yoga teacher training. I don't know what will come of it, only that I have wanted to attend this particular yoga program at Discovery Yoga in St. Augustine for about the last ten years since I first discovered it, and since they have cashed my deposit check, I am going to go out on a limb and believe I am signed up for five weeks in Feb/March of 2011!

After that, well, I think I would be a good yoga teacher, but my brain can't see that far into the future. For now, I'm content with knowing that (the Lord willing, as my dad would say) in the spring I will be there, learning all I can, thanks to my wonderful, supportive husband who is willing to pay for me to go, just because it makes me happy.

29. Lose the Weight...finally.

"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity." ~Amelia Earhart

It's one thing to think that you might need to lose 20 pounds...~ish. It's another thing entirely to look yourself squarely in the mirror and tell that girl in there that it's time to stop Mickey-Mousing around and admit that you are going to have to buy a larger size pants...again. And that shopping for clothes has almost completely lost it's enjoyment for you, which is totally unacceptable. It is therefore time to make a change. Immediately. Because if I can't enjoy shopping, life may have lost a significant part of its luster.

After much thought (and weeping and gnashing of teeth), I have decided that this is a project that I cannot accomplish on my own. Now I have the most supportive of all husbands, which I think I may have mentioned previously. He has done the South Beach Diet with me, which involved giving up his beloved Chips Ahoy for over six weeks, and would stand right by me whatever course I chose. But the Major is much to smart to stand between me and chocolate if I really want it. So I needed some outside accountability.

And so, on October 8th, I joined Weight Watchers. And plan to spend the next 365 days getting back to a reasonable weight (ie: perhaps the one I was at when the Major met me?) Getting married in 2008 was one of the most beautiful miracles of my entire life, and the Major and my two step-kids are a constant sweetness to me....and I have the constant fat on my ass to prove it! A husband who constantly works out and growing kids can basically eat what they want. Not so, yours truly. So it is time to woman-up and do something about it. A change here and a change there~a little at a time and I know I can do it! (I want to look as good as Jennifer Hudson! LOL)

Week One is over and I feel like I did great...this morning I go find out if the scale agrees (gulp!) Fingers & Toes crossed, please.

Happy Birthday, Cupcake!

Happy Birthday to me! In case anyone was wondering if the thrill of the birthday had left me during the last 365 days...the answer is NO! In fact, my birthday week was so lovely that I actually forgot to blog (bad birthday girl!) and am having to go back!

In honor of the big 3-9, I have been reviewing my Cupcake List and noticing that this past year has not produced quite the results I had hoped for. (sad birthday girl) I suppose I will cut myself some slack, despite my last blog, since in the last 12 months I have sold a house, which was a very stressful adventure in this economy; ferreted out another place to rent in another state; MOVED to that house and unpacked all my worldly goods without the Major (thanks to Moms); dealt with the stress of renting the house that fell out of Wonderland (can anyone say-no w/d hookups except in my bedroom? wth?); and last but not least, am still learning how to navigate my new life here in the wilds of North Carolina...So I have accomplished some significant things this year, even if they aren't all reflected on THE list.

But now, on to review THE list! First of all, we know that I did complete #1. Start my own blog. I vow to be more consistent this second year in posting my process. As for #2. Catch up on my reading, well, I made excellent progress on that one, and did in fact read a number of books that I would never have read otherwise (and posted about many of them), so I feel pretty good about it, although, to my disappointment, I did not finish all 40 books on the first reading list. I did, however, finish 26 of them. The remaining 14 will just have to roll over into year two, and I will have to pace myself accordingly! (More to follow on just how I plan to do that.) That will be 54 books in year two (the second list of 40 plus leftover 14 from year one). A bit ambitious, am I? (Am I crazy?...don't answer that, please. It is my birthday.)

Skipping down to #10. Learn to shoot a gun. Started on that one, and have now looked up a place nearby where I can go to continue working on that. It doesn't seem that a sharpshooter is made out of one episode of gun-slinging. So practice I will. Fortunately, when I added #11. Take a watercolor class, I didn't mention becoming proficient! I would like to continue to explore this form of creativity, but there is only so much of me to go around. I may have to wait to further explore watercolors until after my fortieth birthday comes and goes. #12. Whiten my teeth is another ongoing goal~I was thinking just today how glad I was that I had the trays made and how nice it is to be able to attend to that little issue without any hassle whatsoever (pretty birthday girl!).

#13. Learn to make my Mom's Black Bottom Pie is also one that I started but must continue if I plan to actually become a proficient. BIG step in the process, Moms gave me a mixer for my birthday! Now there is nothing holding me back! (ummmm....hungry birthday girl) I promised the Major one pie a month until I have achieved perfection. He was delighted. #26. Perform 24 breast self-check exams is a goner. Unless I perform 5 in one month, that is. Ha. But I have devised a way to make sure that I get all 12 in over the next year. (Again, more to follow on that bit of OCD planning.) I did Volunteer my time at Moms' house, #27, with positive results, so scratch that one off the list (thank goodness!).....AND.....there you go. Poor showing for year one, if I do say so myself.

HOWEVER! I have already poked at about THIRTEEN (yay, birthday girl!) of the other items on the list...just haven't gotten far enough to report or (more likely) just haven't blogged about them! So my new birthday resolution is that I will be more forthcoming with my efforts, since they are a huge part of the Countdown process! Now, must go...there is desert somewhere with my name on it!

Cupcake Meltdown

Last week I realized that there is no way I am going to meet my goal of the first forty books of "2. Catch Up on my Reading" by October 8th. What is really disgusting to me is that I have read a zillion books in the last year: mysteries, vamps & werewolves & all manner of paranormal suspense, even a few kid's books on the recommendation of my step-son~ but not THE forty that I had chosen for this project. I have been cramming books in left and right these last few months to try to get there....but right now I am so sick of reading "UP" that I don't even want to look at a book, ANY book, much less read it. And somehow getting the Cliff Notes for this project seems more like cheating than it did in college....

I have realized that while most of my Cupcake goals are not difficult (hello! flossing, watching movies, making lists?!), they will take some time and planning, perhaps more than I first realized. And now my first year is almost gone. (sigh)

So today, as I am trapped inside looking out the window at a week's worth of rain, trying to decide if I should start on an ark or not...looking for some inspiration, I read this, written by Kristin Armstrong in her blog, Mile-Markers:

"This reminded me of some time I spent recently doing some goals and vision work, (try goaltender at goals.lululemon.com–it's great) imagining my life 10 years out, five years out, and one year out. It was a real mind-opener for me. The site explains that failing to reach your goals 50 percent of the time is a good indication that you are motivated and challenged. That was a "huh?" moment for me. Failing 50 percent of the time to me sounds like I'm not working hard enough. Or perhaps I'm not putting myself out there far enough to risk that 50 percent failure rate. Oh. Maybe I'm more willing to write down goals that sound achievable or are at least in the zip code of my comfort zone..."

Now I'd like to tell you that this made me feel instantly better...actually it made me wonder which goals on my Cupcake List weren't going to tank! The truth is I'm not very good at keeping up with my dreams (hence the list and the blog)...and so perhaps I should congratulate myself for making myself vulnerable enough to try, in public-no less, and stop self-flagellating over a less than perfect result.

I have read twenty-five books (of the first 40) to date that I would never have taken the time to read before. In no reality that I recognize should that be viewed as anything but success. And that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

More Books!

I told you I was reading! So to catch you all the way up on my progress, here are the remainder of the books I have read this summer...

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood: This was a surprisingly easy read. And interesting, as it takes place in some futuristic time period where the roles of women have been limited to a few and their rights have been all but taken away entirely. All for the greater good, of course. If you want to read a book that makes you think, but isn't going to make your brain explode, this is a good choice. And I loved the ending.

A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf: I read this after I finished Atlas Shrugged, which might be why I liked it so much. Another book that makes you think, but not in a head-achy sort of way. Woolf comes by her belief that in order to write fiction a woman must have some money and a room of her own by way of rational thinking. A thought-provoking look at women's place throughout history.

The Enchanted Wood by Enid Blyton: Written in the 1930's, this book is a sweet children's book that would be lovely to read aloud to a little one at bedtime. Three children move to the country and discover The Faraway Tree in an enchanted wood. They meet many new and unusual friends as they climb the tree, and at the tree-top there is always a new and strange land up through the clouds to explore. My favorite was the Land of Birthdays. I'd like my party there this year, please.

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand: In college I had a professor that extolled the virtue of writing concisely. Ayn Rand did NOT have this same professor. This was, hands down, the LONGEST 1068 pages of my life. The plot and the characters were interesting! Even the pro-capitalism bent got me thinking. But if you could cull out at least half of the lectures and rhetoric, one would have a more manageable treatise on her philosophy of Objectivism. The Major has forbidden me to ever discuss this book again in his presence.

Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell: If Atlas Shrugged made me want to beat my head against a wall every time I picked it up, GWTW was just the opposite. I was so surprised to find that I could hardly put it down once I started! Scarlett alternately impressed me with her fortitude and ability to follow her own heart without caring about the opinions of others and drove me crazed with her insensitivity and inability to understand anyone at all. Ms. Mitchell was a genius. And while not normally an avid reader of historical fiction (I leave that to my dads), I found the portrayal of the South and the description of the "War of Northern Aggression" fascinating. LOVED it. {And thanks to my dear friend Mina who stepped out of her normal genre and read it with me--and became obsessed with all things GWTW!!!...I'm so proud of you!} Next...the movie...all four hours of it....

Succulent Wild Women by SARK: I loved this book. SARK is part artist, part philosopher, part cheerleader and part shrink. Just looking at all the colorful illustrations made me happy. Her writing is inspirational and emotionally powerful~she has overcome much and found a way to heal and accept herself as she is, scars and all. A lesson most of us could learn something from. Her website, Planet SARK, is a wonderful adventure, also. I plan on reading more of her books.

Slowly but surely plowing through the list. Wish me luck...reading is my #1 priority over the next weeks to try to make my goal (gulp)!

27. Volunteer My Time on Morningside Drive

My Moms is hands-down the best moms in the world. (I double-dog dare you to disagree.) She and I have lots in common, starting with such a strong resemblance that should I decide one day to contest my paternity no one would take me seriously. We also share wavy hair, good skin, an obsessive-compulsive need to plan, a love of books, anything whatsoever to do with Christmas, an enjoyment of window shopping anywhere, an ability to find pretty much anything with 98.5% accuracy using our super-spidey sense, and a gentle nature that runs from confrontation at Olympic speed.

There are, however, a few quality qualities Moms has that didn't get passed on to yours truly. For example, she is THE 'Hostess with the Mostess' in any given situation...an amazing party planner with a gracious heart. (My philosophy: Make yourself at home...the fridge is over there.) And as a nurse, she is also exceptionally calm in any given crisis. (Not so, me.) In reverse, there are a few qualities I got that didn't come from Moms (or Dad, for that matter...)

One of those qualities is the ability to organize. Now this may have been a learned trait...from the time I left for college I have moved 16 or so times and my parents have spent the last thirty years in the same home. Irregardless, I have a knack for keeping things orderly (or at least in some sort of controlled chaos). And my beautiful Moms does NOT.

So with this in mind, here is the situation. My parent's parents are all deceased (hence, lots of inherited items); they are empty nesters (hello, old room); they are BOTH (yes, Dads, you, too) Pack-Rats of the highest order. And the family homestead, while not flush with closet space, has an entire back section (read: one-half again the actual living space) that is not used for anything but miscellaneous storage and laundry. Multiply that scenario by thirty plus years and you have...well, a LOT of ...well, we weren't really sure what they had a lot of, but that was the problem!

Enter me. Only daughter of a wonderful mother. I have told her for years that if she passed on prior to sorting through all the chaos in her house I would be following her into the by-and-by and dragging her back by her ear. In an effort to avoid doing just that, I promised long ago to help her with this project. After leaving my job at the end of 2009, I commenced with Operation Organize the Fam!

We started with two mornings per week and my old room. Out of my old closet came loads of her clothes, my baby things she had so carefully saved (so cute!), purses, shoes, china, boxes of old photos....I wasn't entirely certain we weren't dealing with a magical wardrobe that would lead us into Narnia at any moment. And as anyone who has tried to clean out a closet knows, everything you touch requires a decision. Sometimes getting rid of something is the easiest decision to make, because if you keep the little whosit, then you also have to figure out what to do with it! But Moms started strong (with just a little gentle encouragement from me...I have watched a lot of Clean Sweep and Hoarders, after all). We took clothes to consignment, bags to Goodwill, odds and ends to a little shop for seniors, books to the library. When I left after lunchtime each day, she got homework to work on before next week. And s..l..o..w..l..y, my old room turned into a viable guest room again along with a reading nook for her personal enjoyment!

Next up was the built-in in the hallway, the bathroom closet & medicine chest (which hadn't been emptied in about 10 years, I'm sure), the kitchen pantry, a few kitchen cabinets, two china cabinets and (insert ominous music here) the back rooms. We sorted like with like and moved things around to create a special closet for Christmas items, a designated place for extra kitchen gadgets, a shelf for pickle-making supplies, a drawer for miscellaneous gifts and an organized area for all her writing supplies and cards. We started organizing all her decorative items into bins by color and the toiletries into containers according to their specific use. We created a memory box for her to put in old cards, newspaper articles and miscellany (like some angora ankle-cuffs from the 50's!) that she wasn't quite ready to part with. We shopped for containers and pretty organizers (my favorite part!) and spent time talking about what sort of order would help make her life easier. In about 3 1/2 months of mornings we accomplished a lot, and she did even more in between times.

And the best part, of course, was just getting to spend time together. I have been blessed with the most wonderful mother and I so enjoy spending time with her...this was an experience I will always cherish, as I truly felt I was giving back to her a very little bit of all that she has given me throughout my lifetime.

Now since the Major and I moved in June, Moms has been continuing to work on organizing her house...I will have to wait for a visit back home to see what other progress she has made. But no matter if she ever gets everything sorted out, I think maybe I have helped her to discover how good it feels to bring some order to your chaos and how letting things go frees up space, not only in your house, but in yourself. We all need that free space in order to make room for other good things that are on their way to us.

And I need a place to sleep when I come to visit. (Love you, Moms.)

P.S. Have Moms & I inspired you to think about de-cluttering some yourself? Here are a few links to how to donate your old books, DVDs and CDs, cell phones, electronics, old eyeglasses, pet items, prom dresses, women's career-wear, or leftover medical supplies (such as from a prolonged illness in the home). A few other neat links are The Freecycle Network, where you can search by location for things to get (and give) for free in your own area, and Give Your Stuff Away Day on September 25th, where you put usable unwanted items on your curb for anyone to take (in a responsible manner, of course). Very cool idea.

Books

I have fallen into a swirling vortex that is called Hampstead. Moving and the subsequent settling in combined with summer have turned time on its ear for me and four months have sped by-practically overnight.

But I have not been idle during the summer! (Even if I have forgotten to write.) I have worked on #19 Join a Runner's Club, #27 Volunteer my Time, #32 Become a Registered Yoga Teacher, #39 Memorize 10 Favorite Poems, and especially #2 Catch up on my Reading.

More about the others later, but this reading business has been a challenge. I found that I have enjoyed some of the books on my list much more than expected, and a few much less. Starting with the ones above:

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett: Liked the characters, didn't enjoy the storyline half so much as her other famous work A Little Princess (possibly my favorite book of all time). The story seemed to just...well, END. Abruptly. I did like the friendly little bird....

Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende: Excellent. Interesting commentary on the California Gold Rush...and the heroine is wonderfully portrayed. The ending left what happens next to the reader's imagination.

My Life In France by Julia Child: I knew I liked Julia Child when I found out she didn't even learn to cook until her mid-30's, but I didn't expect to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this book! The woman was even more amazing than I realized, and her story is incredibly interesting.

The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan: It took me a while to figure out what was going on here (it flashes back and forth between characters and the past/present), but once I caught on, I enjoyed the story. If you have read or seen The Joy Luck Club, also by Tan, this book has a similar feel.

Without Reservations by Alice Steinbach: If Julia Child's memoir doesn't make you want to visit France, this book will definitely give you restless feet. Steinbach is a prize-winning journalist and presents some of the loveliest prose I have ever had the pleasure to read. Her trip to Europe (or "Year of Living Dangerously", as she puts it) will make you want to hop a plane to somewhere immediately!

Rebecca by Daphne de Murier: I watched this Alfred Hitchcock classic on film years ago (and again just recently with my step-kids) and was pleasantly surprised that the book was so much better! (Why this surprises me, I have no idea.) de Murier is a great master of suspense and the book fleshes out the story in a way the film does not (as is usually the case). Loved it.

Lavinia by Ursula K. Le Guin: This book is a bit off the beaten path from Ms. Le Guin's normal sci-fi, but when researching books for my list this particular selection caught my eye, and justly so. Lavinia is a very minor character in Virgil's Aeneid that Le Guin has plucked out and proceeded to expound upon. The story is that of Lavinia's life in ancient Italy, from her perspective, and includes a cameo appearance from Virgil himself. It actually made me want to read Virgil's Aeneid...

The Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson: I know this book won a Newberry Award, but I didn't like it. I suppose I just want a happy ending, especially in a children's book. Sorry, Ms. Paterson.

I'm a little concerned about finishing out the list by my birthday this year. Apparently in the Land of Procrastination I have been crowned Queen, because in spite of my reading close to sixty books in the last ten months, I still have 21 left on my list to finish before October 8th. But I'm pressing on...let me get off this computer and go read.

11. Watercolor Class

With the negotiation of the sale of our current house and the hunt to secure a rental in North Carolina, along with the chaos of trying to prepare for the pack and the move, blogging has been low on the list of my priorities this last month!

Even right now, as I sit on my back porch and think about how I am going to miss my favorite part of living here~the songbirds that wake me up in the morning and continue to serenade me all day long~there are a million packing details zooming around in the back of my mind. But since the hardest part of writing is often just the starting, I purposed that today I was going to sit down and begin again!

One of the things that I have completed on my list in the last months was #11. Take a watercolor class. In short, it was wonderful! The Major asked if I was now going to become a 'moody artist'...I told him it depended on how my work turned out! Below is my last painting (a work in progress).

My lovely teacher was Doreen Myers at Center Place in Brandon, a wonderful association that promotes fine arts in the community, and, conveniently for me, is located right next door to the library! Doreen was a wonderful teacher, extremely funny and lively. The class was very small (only 3 of us plus Doreen), so we received quite a bit of one-on-one instruction, which, as I was a beginner who knew nothing of watercolor at all, was extremely helpful!

By the end of the month, in the way of all women starting a new endeavor, I had all the supplies to experiment on my own (paints, special paper and brushes, giant palette and a super cute tote to carry them). And I HAD started experimenting a bit on my own (see green bird, above, which was copied, sort-of!, from my favorite watercolorist's blog~Pam Garrison. If you scroll down about 10 photos in the link, you will find the bird I was trying to copy.)

I also took another workshop at the Bloomingdale Library taught by Laure Ferlita, where the class watercolored a black & white photo copied onto heavy paper (see above). This class was quite informative (Thank you, Doreen, for signing me up!) and Laure's website Imaginary Trips, is an unusual venue for anyone interested in watercolor or sketching. {On a side note, I cannot say enough good things about the Hillsborough County Library System! If you live in the Tampa area and are not taking advantage of this amazing resource, do so immediately!}

In a similar vein as writing, I found watercoloring to be a bit difficult to start once on my own. My lack of sketching ability frustrated me some, although apparently in the watercolor community it is perfectly legitimate to use tracing paper to achieve your outline and then the talent is used to place the watercolor. But to me, I have to confess, that felt a bit like cheating! But what I discovered, as with most things, if you just stop trying to be so impressive, and have a little fun (see above) things become a lot more enjoyable! And since the most important part of any new skill is practice, practice, practice...one must find a certain amount of fun in the process!

So my pictures here are a bit backwards, as this flower (above) was my very first attempt. It turned out okay, if I do say so myself! I learned a few things in this class that I am going to try to keep with me, not the least of which was how to play with the paint!

First, we are our own worst critic. The lovely ladies that I took the class with were so hard on their own work, it hardly seemed that they received any joy out of painting at all! Which I hated for them, as for me the entire thing was completely novel. It could be a bit daunting, to watch Doreen (a self-taught artist, go figure) just whip something right off the page, but I kept reminding myself that nothing that requires real skill comes to any of us right away~you have to enjoy the process of learning. Easier said than done, I know, but an important life lesson for certain.

I believe that I will continue (once I am unpacked again!) to make attempts with the watercolors and hopefully achieve my goal of an art journal. And I know the Major at least will admire all of my efforts (appropriately hung on the fridge), since he was my patron for the experience!

13. Learn to make my mom's Black Bottom Pie: Lesson 1

In honor of Easter, Friday I spent the morning with my Mom, but instead of the usual clutter patrol, we had a lesson in pie.

To fully appreciate this feat, a little background is in order: My Mom's Black Bottom Pie is legendary. My Nana had a housekeeper/nanny named Maggie, who helped raise my Mom and subsequently taught me how to make an excellent hospital corner, who was the original pie maker.

When my Mom decided that she would like to learn how to make it, she asked Maggie come to our house and teach her...but Maggie would show up with a pie already made! Lovely, but no help to the learning process. So Moms dug in and tried the recipe on her own. As she will tell you, you had to eat her first effort with a spoon...for about three days. Several people have asked her for the recipe since those days and made the attempt themselves, with equally poor results.

However, over time, and a little input from Maggie on what she was doing wrong, Moms figured out all the pie's tricks, and it became the desert of choice for family and friends alike. You were special indeed if my mom made a pie for dinner when you were invited.

For years my family has poked and prodded me to learn how to make this dessert...it really is that good, by the way. It doesn't matter how much you have eaten beforehand, Black Bottom Pie always finds room to slide right down.

It is a graham cracker crust, a layer of what is basically homemade chocolate pudding, a layer of homemade custard, topped with a layer of real whipped cream and chocolate shavings. The trick is doing about five different things all at once to get it together...oh, and being able to make all that stuff from scratch.

But I digress...I have always contended that, frankly, I don't really know anyone that I'd go to all the trouble for. (It takes my mom about an hour to make one, longer if she doubles the recipe. And she is a pie-making machine.)

BUT... in an attempt to carry on a family tradition (and to make my husband happy), I decided that I should learn how to master this, if for no other reason than every woman should have a recipe in her arsenal that will completely impress her mother-in-law. :)

So...with supervision, here is the finished result of my first pie-making lesson! I'll need a little practice to get it on my own, but this was a good start. And there wasn't a scrap left over today at our Easter lunch, so I must have done something right. Or so they tell me. (No one has keeled over yet...)

Just Call Me Annie

Saturday was a big day for the Cupcake List! The Major & I spent the day with some friends at the outdoor gun range at Tenoroc Shooting Range in Lakeland. Our friends had a veritable arsenal of guns to try out: a .38 Special Smith & Wesson snub-nose revolver, a Smith & Wesson .357 Magnum, a 9mm Glock, a .22 Ruger, and what I will refer to as the Wild-West revolver (caliber unknown). We spent several hours shooting outdoors in perfect weather, surrounded by the romantic smell of gunsmoke and the crack of pistol shots.

I have wanted to learn to shoot for a long time now, and even though, in my green sweater & pink Life Is Good hat, I definitely did not blend in with all the camo gear on the firing line, I had a great time!

Over the last year the Major & I have visited a few gun shops to look at different types of weapons while we thought about buying. He wanted to find a gun that I felt comfortable handling (ha). This was something of a problem to overcome, as A) I had never really handled a pistol before, and B) I have very short fingers and no great hand strength, which meant I felt like a right idiot trying to pull back the slide and manipulate the assorted little levers on anything bigger than a squirt gun. This is a little embarassing in a gun shop surrounded by police riot gear, a zillion different guns and either big tough looking men or scruffy hunting types. It was definitely intimidating, which is why I had not persued this particular Cupcake item previously. Having the chance to handle our friend's weapons before we got to the range in the comfort of our own house (unloaded, obviously) really helped me feel more confident. After shooting the different guns on the range, it was obvious that if we kept looking and handling different styles we could find one with I could learn to handle comfortably.

Spending time at the range also gave us an idea of what amount of firepower to look at when we decided to buy. The .357 Magnum was just painful for me to fire. It had so much power when it was fired that I couldn't keep the shot straight, and the recoil made my hands hurt. I managed the other guns alright, but the .22 Ruger was the most fun to shoot. I could make the shot go where I wanted, and its particular cocking mechanism was different than the other manufactuers and easier for me to work. Of course, a .22 is a light-weight gun...you aren't going to stop anyone with a .22 unless you can shoot them directly in the eye.

So after we finished up at the range and had lunch, the Major & I stopped at Shoot Straight in Tampa....and they were having a BIG sale! We spent about 2 hours weaving around all kinds...bikers, hunters, grandparents, mommies, (I stood and chatted with a little baby while we waited to look at Berettas)...you name it, and they were there. It was amazing. The store is huge, and the staff was SO friendly. I (almost) didn't feel like a complete idiot while we were looking at Beretta's, Glocks, Rugers, and Sig Sauers. We decided that the Major needed one type of gun, and I needed another. So in a moment of excitement...we bought two: a .22 Walther for me and him a .40 Beretta. We pick them up on Thursday. The best part was that the girl that checked us out had a headband with a big flower on it. AND she asked why I wasn't buying the pink Walther. I think I'm really going to like being a gunslinger.

Visiting Mansfield Park by-way-of my Blog!

So when I started this blog, everyone told me I could cross off #1. on my Cupcake List immediately...but what I have discovered is that Starting My Own Blog is going to be more ongoing than #21 (Make flossing a daily habit)!! I confess to often being frustrated with blogging overall...trying to make the different elements of the blog work has had me banging my head against the desk more than once. "It's never as easy as it looks" has become my motto about blogging in general.

HOWEVER...last night my spectacular fantabulous husband (who, btw, is appalled that I told anyone that he watches Family Guy) helped me add a Library Thing list, a Flickr badge, and a link for Operation Nice AND The Happiness Project! He gets all the praise and my eternal devotion. And now I have a clue how to do these things and hold out hope that perhaps I can figure out how to add a RSS feed all on my own.

Not only have I now made this amazing progress in keeping my blog layout interesting, I received my very first non-friend/family comment! Emily Bouchard at Blended-Families.com left me such a nice sentiment! So she gets my eternal thanks for visiting as well. And suddenly I am inspired to continue once again.

As part of the book I mentioned previously, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin (see Happiness Project badge to the left! Ta-Da!), I realized that sometimes the "process" towards increasing our happiness (or completing our Cupcake List) isn't exactly warm & fuzzy.

For example, preparing to run a marathon would be very exhausting, but the actual running of the race and the satisfaction upon its completion would bring a great deal of happiness! An example of my own that is much closer to my heart (since I have no plans to run a marathon---ever) would be #2. Catch up on my reading. Since I have been mickey-mousing around in the months since October, I now have to read SIX books per month from my list to get the first 40 completed by October 8th of this year. So. In an effort to get my behind in gear, I picked up Mansfield Park by Jane Austen on Sunday. After plowing through half of the 430 pages, I can say definitively that this is not going to be my favorite of Jane's novels.

The first problem is that I own the movie version of the novel, which I have loved for years. I (erroneously) assumed that since the movie versions of Persuasion and Sense & Sensibility tracked the novels quite closely, that the other stories would be the same. Not so!!! Which has me all thrown off. But I am enjoying comparing the two versions, and know that even if the reading of it is a bit of work, I will be very pleased when I can check it off of my list and talk intelligently about the storyline.

Perhaps I will have to join the Jane Austen Society so I can debate the merits with like-minded readers! It is honestly amazing that a woman who authored only six books in her lifetime has been the inspiration behind so many spin-off stories. All 6 movies are wonderful and make the novels accessible to the masses, which I fully condone. And then there are the fun movies and novels: The Jane Austen Book Club, Becoming Jane, Lost in Austen, and a few more that I haven't even seen! I'm waiting on someone to make Pride and Prejudice and Zombies into a movie and then my life will officially be complete. (hee hee!) Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Old Books and Old Friends

This week I finished reading Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret? by Judy Blume. I had never read this book as a child, although I had read many other by this author. One of my loveliest and oldest friends offered to read it with me, and we met on Wednesday to chat about it, which made the experience even nicer!

Margaret is about 12, and is struggling with all matters that pre-adolecent girls do, which strikes a cord with me since my step-daughter just turned 12 herself. Margaret's parents are not religious or spiritual in any way, and have left it up to Margaret (supposedly when she gets old enough) to decide which, if any, spiritual path she will choose to follow. Unbeknownst to her parents, however, Margaret does talk with God regularly, about all the things in her life that matter to her. It is a very sweet, and very poignant, example of being able to approach God as a child does...most children don't overcomplicate the issue the way we adults tend to do.

My friend and I both laughed a bit about the drama that befalls a 12 year old girl, thanking God we don't ever have to be 12 again! But the book is all about the innocence of a child, and that IS something that is precious and easily lost with the passage of time.

I undertook another task this week, a simple one, but one that I had forgotten! I printed out my Cupcake List and my Reading List...go figure. It is very helpful to have this information in front of my nose, so as to remember what it is that I'm doing. Seems obvious, yes? I guess not.

Lastly, for the wonderful ones who are reading my bits and thoughts, there is a way at the top of the blog to "FOLLOW", which will (I think) email you my new blog posts as they appear. It would be great if you were interested in doing this!

Off to try to tear my husband away from Family Guy (sigh) and to get ready for bed! What book shall I start next...hummmmm....

Continuing a Blog

It's funny, when I started this Countdown, I knew that it was going to be challenging, but I expected to enjoy every moment, or every other moment, anyway. Instead I am finding that it is bringing out a lot of interesting emotions that wouldn't necessarily be described as enjoyable! For example, I have already mentioned how it has been difficult for me to focus on my reading list. That has been frustrating to me. And I have not actually posted nearly as often as I had originally planned, even though now I am not working full-time, which bothers me a lot. Why haven't I? I had to give that some thought.

I am reading a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin (also NOT on the book list), and I think that I may have gained a small insight into why my enthusiasm has waned a little bit. A) I don't feel like I am doing ENOUGH (whatever enough might be) towards my Countdown...therefore B) I don't have ENOUGH to write about on a regular basis; and C) What if it all sounds dumb anyway?! I really hate to fail...or even have a "perceived" failure.

What a bunch of hooey.

The irony is that I DO have things to write about, (I'll try not to write about them ALL right here)...and even if I'm not the most eloquent of writers, my posts are heartfelt. It is hard to embrace the process, and not focus just on the outcome, but that really is what this whole experiment is about. Not JUST about checking things off a list, but about the challenge of growing as a person. And part of growth is to stop fearing what may or may not be considered "failure", and to simply take something away with me from every experience. I've had some practice at that. And THAT is something I can write about every single day.

Reading at LAST!

Reading at last! I finished The Red Tent by Anita Diamant and Persuasion by Jane Austen. Loved them both. The links provide the story background if you are interested, but suffice to say that for me The Red Tent was very thought-provoking for a girl who grew up in the church, and Austen, well, is lovely...and Persuasion worth reading just for Wentworth's letter towards the end of the story.

I have made inroads on a few other items as well...#9, #11, and #14 are all in the works. I have inquired about the watercolor class (which I can hopefully take in March), plan to start going to yoga tomorrow (!) and have the movie here at the house (thanks, Netflix) which I plan to watch this week! And I have started reading The Beauty Myth, which is already taxing my brain, but is very interesting so far. That one might take me a while to plow through.

I do have to confess that I missed January's breast self-exam. It is one of those things I keep thinking 'I need to do it, I need to do it'....and then time has passed and I haven't done it! Ack! So I will have to either A) add one in there when the months are longer, or B) add a month on to the end of my countdown. But obviously the goal is to get into the habit so that I am doing it beyond the countdown timeframe...duh. Anyway. So I've confessed my failure on that particular item, but I am determined to get February's done!!!! (I have seven more days, right?)

Have a good week!

29. Lose the weight...finally

I just finished a 30 minute walk, and my legs are itchy (from the increased blood flow, I suppose), my lungs are tired, and the toes on my left foot are a bit numb, as they tend to be if my shoe is tied even the littlest bit tight. And I was thinking of just a few years ago, when I ran my first 5k...in wonder that I ever ran that far. It was really a kind-of miracle. And I know I could do it again, eventually, but why is it so hard to START OVER?

I have been struggling with the puzzle of body management vs. self-appreciation for a while now. A woman spends her entire life, or most of it once she hits about 25 anyway, in a massive war to A.)stay in decent shape, and/or B.)love herself the way God made her. We spend our time thinking we need to lose 5/10/50 pounds, or our breasts should be larger, or our thighs should be smaller, or we should be doing more aerobic exercise/weight training/yoga to make our stomachs smaller/bones stronger/bodies more flexible. Is our behind too big in these pants?...Does this dress make our stomach stick out? If we do 50 mores sit-ups every morning will we lose the muffintop? On and on and on....And on. YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN...DON'T YOU!? It is exhausting. I even get tired of listening to myself! And the litany of judgment is there whether you are saying it aloud to your girlfriends or just talking inside your own head.

And of course there is no help in our society...where even supermodels are airbrushed and every movie star is shot in perfect lighting. As the saying goes, 'if we all had personal trainers & personal chefs, we could all be a size 6'. (Mine would have to come drag me out of bed in the morning by my hair, but still.) Although, wonderful Oprah still seems to have a little trouble, so maybe that isn't as true as we think it is! Hummmm....

There is nothing more beautiful than a woman comfortable in her own skin, whether she is a size 2 or a size 22. But how do you achieve that comfort level? And how do you remain comfortable and confident and simultaneously acknowledge that you need to make some positive changes? It seems those two things are directly at odds with one another. I don't need to have the body I had a 21 to feel good about myself, but I need something....something more than what I currently have. Is that something the confidence to accept that time leaves its mark on us all? Or is that something a tummy tuck? Probably something in the middle? Probably.

So this is the beginning of the end of my battle to try to figure out how to accept my body and appreciate it the way it deserves (it does, after all, get me around pretty well), and at the same time try to bend it to my will in an effort to finally lose some weight and get a bit more fit before 40. I am determined to make my peace with this issue. (Feel free to pipe up with your thoughts, please.) So to start I will do the hardest thing of all. BEGIN.

(And then tomorrow: BEGIN AGAIN.)

What to Read

I love to read. Love, Love, LOVE. Love it at least as much as I love birthdays. Wanting to read isn't my problem. Wanting to read the list of books I've given myself IS. Or rather, wanting to read Persuasion more than I want to read the new Laurell K. Hamilton. I can't seem to focus on my list...instead I keep bringing all these sci-fi fantasy books home from the library--say, 6-8 at a time, and devouring them immediately, one after the other. Very gratifying from an entertainment perspective, but a bit off task.

And the irony is that I really do want to read the books on my list. The thing is, they are, well, work. As opposed to the others, which are really my version of mindless television. So I guess the bottom line is that maybe I am a little bit lazy? Anyway, any suggestions on how I can get more involved in my reading list (which, by the way, I expected to be one of the EASIER items to accomplish on my list...yikesy!), would be greatly appreciated.

Happy New Year!

So I expected that the combination of work, work, work and the holiday excitement would postpone my blogging, and I was correct.

Now that work is over, and Christmas has passed in all its Christmasy-glory, and the ball has officially dropped on the New Year (not to mention I have caught up on my sleep for about a week), I'm ready to resume the Countdown!

I have accomplished a few things since my last post...I have completed two Breast Self-Exams (one for November and one for December, as evidenced by the little pink ribbons at the bottom of this post~so right on schedule there), and I finished reading The Story of My Life by Helen Keller. (Very good book, and a nice short read.)

And I figured out who one of my heros is, two actually. After hosting 11 people at my house for Christmas Day, including breakfast AND Christmas Lunch (yes, that is lunch with a capital "L"), it is obvious that my Mom and my Aunt Ginna have attained heroine status in my eyes. Both of them entertain beautifully and make it look like a snap...which I knew it was not, but knowing in theory, and KNOWING in practice are two totally different things! So thanks to the two of them for all the many wonderful meals that they have hosted over my lifetime. And here's to hoping that I will be a bit more prepared next time around.

Now with a fresh new year at my disposal, I'm on to another countdown challenge. Best wishes for a wonderful 2010.