Cupcake Meltdown

Last week I realized that there is no way I am going to meet my goal of the first forty books of "2. Catch Up on my Reading" by October 8th. What is really disgusting to me is that I have read a zillion books in the last year: mysteries, vamps & werewolves & all manner of paranormal suspense, even a few kid's books on the recommendation of my step-son~ but not THE forty that I had chosen for this project. I have been cramming books in left and right these last few months to try to get there....but right now I am so sick of reading "UP" that I don't even want to look at a book, ANY book, much less read it. And somehow getting the Cliff Notes for this project seems more like cheating than it did in college....

I have realized that while most of my Cupcake goals are not difficult (hello! flossing, watching movies, making lists?!), they will take some time and planning, perhaps more than I first realized. And now my first year is almost gone. (sigh)

So today, as I am trapped inside looking out the window at a week's worth of rain, trying to decide if I should start on an ark or not...looking for some inspiration, I read this, written by Kristin Armstrong in her blog, Mile-Markers:

"This reminded me of some time I spent recently doing some goals and vision work, (try goaltender at goals.lululemon.com–it's great) imagining my life 10 years out, five years out, and one year out. It was a real mind-opener for me. The site explains that failing to reach your goals 50 percent of the time is a good indication that you are motivated and challenged. That was a "huh?" moment for me. Failing 50 percent of the time to me sounds like I'm not working hard enough. Or perhaps I'm not putting myself out there far enough to risk that 50 percent failure rate. Oh. Maybe I'm more willing to write down goals that sound achievable or are at least in the zip code of my comfort zone..."

Now I'd like to tell you that this made me feel instantly better...actually it made me wonder which goals on my Cupcake List weren't going to tank! The truth is I'm not very good at keeping up with my dreams (hence the list and the blog)...and so perhaps I should congratulate myself for making myself vulnerable enough to try, in public-no less, and stop self-flagellating over a less than perfect result.

I have read twenty-five books (of the first 40) to date that I would never have taken the time to read before. In no reality that I recognize should that be viewed as anything but success. And that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.